4 weeks ago on a Sunday, I did something. I said some things I don't regret saying and I'm happy with the result. The day after thoughts of him distracted me from most of the things I did, it was bittersweet. I welcomed a touchy-feely friend with open arms, to find out that I, too, behave the same way. The wound, or shall I say, scratch, has been recovered, leaving behind a scar that would fade as time passes. The scar hasn't completely faded away.
I've become less emotionally attached to him and have realised the true meaning behind my intentions: lust. I am slightly ashamed but the feeling I get overcomes it by a landslide. Every touch, shoulder bump and hand holding is great but I crave for more. To get rid of the feeling, I dance with myself, like Billy Idol. (Listen to the song)
Last week I went for dinner with him, just both of us alone. I don't know why but I had a feeling it was a date. I don't know what he thought of it but if he's willing to play games, so be it. Two can play at that game. I admit, I enjoy talking to guys but I do not lead them on. Sure, I flirt, doesn't everyone? It's part of human nature and you probably don't even realise it.
"Table for two." Said the waitress. The words that left her mouth had me hesitate a bit. That's not something I hear often, especially if the person I'm dining with is male. I enjoyed the company but it left me a bit unsatisfied after. I absolutely, incredibly, EXTREMELY HATE it when people use their phones. Why are your eyes glued to the screen? You should be experiencing things. Ugh. Whatever, I still had a great time.
Today. Today was pretty good actually. Legs in close proximity, skin touching. Don't you enjoy the suspense you get when your skin is right above the other person's one and barely touching? Maybe I'm just overanalysing things, but whenever he sat near me he angled his body in a way where we would get closer to each other. I really just want to wrap my arms around his neck, I want to push my tongue into his mouth and take it from there. I hope to feel fabric rising up against my pants.
I am slightly ashamed, but I don't care. In the end, I'm not emotionally attached to him as much as last time. I know that's probably not a good thing to do, but who the hell knows the answer anyway? The temptations come at random times, I can't help it. Today at the bus stop when we played a game and did things to each other, that really tempted me. It was funny too, since my luck was terrible. My forehead hurts but you being so close to my face? Worth it. >;) The play fight was cute though. =P
Hope whoever reads this doesn't get too freaked out.
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