I'm going fucking insane

It's absurd how a single person can drive everyone out of their home. What's worse is that they don't realise what they've done, they don't think it because of them, no, they never blame themselves. They don't feel guilt, they don't have a conscience, so, WHAT DO THEY FUCKING HAVE? NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING.

I get a few precious hours of peace till it triggers. Every fucking night, this shit happens. Even the smallest thing sparks it. It's driving me closer to killing myself, but I don't have the courage, yet. Do they do it on purpose, do they realise what they've done? Who the fuck knows? This place is unhappy, this so called "sanction". Are you happy now? Look what you've done. Right, I forgot, it's not your fault.

No one knows what happens and I don't plan on telling them. I doubt anyone's problems could be compared to mine. I am going fucking insane and I just wish someone could put a bullet through my skull with each passing day. 20 dollars, just 20 dollars and it starts, 20 dollars to drive everyone insane. The worst part? The person I care for gets the receiving end of it, and why the fuck does he deserve that? I hate going to bed every night thinking of the future, what will be and what will not, with THIS around I would be at his deathbed at 25. Looking around, everyone is miserable, this place is unhealthy and I need somewhere else to go. 

I hope everything gets better, I can't take it anymore. I'm at my breaking point and I feel sorry for the person who has to be there when I explode. People piss me off and I fucking hate them.

I'm going to therapy, bitches. Eat shit and die.