INTERESTING

With the new year approaching, I can't believe how fast time went by. The downside to this is that with every coming year there are more responsibilities being piled on as I'm inching my way towards 'adulthood'. There's so much pressure, I feel, to get a job, contribute something to society and be independent. I feel like things are going by too quickly. I'm not ready for this, I can't be on my own! Why can't things be the same? I guess that's why I don't welcome the new year, any new year for that matter, with open arms and enthusiasm: I'm progressively closer to coming out of school and having to get a job and not be dependent and forge my own path and know what I want to do, and it is extremely pressurising and nerve wracking. It's not that I don't want to do all these things because I do want to eventually, it's that I feel that this change is too major and sudden that it makes me overwhelmed. I have to do all these things and learn about them at one go? Can't I be eased into it? I hope so, but I doubt it would happen.

I'm not ready, I still feel like I'm a kid and I can't go out there all on my own. It's just so abrupt. One moment you're in school, the next you're expected to know what the hell you're doing and be an 'adult' surviving on your own. Life is so complicated and I wish I had the answers to all my questions on my fingertips. I need a guide, I can't be independent. I can't believe  I'm so close to being an adult. I want to remain a kid with nothing expected of me and nothing to worry about. Everything's just going by too damn fast for me to enjoy.