Pre-Surgery Thoughts

It's 1.32 am on 12 December 2016. I'll have to wake up at around 6am, which is in four to five hours, to go to the hospital for surgery. I have been waiting for this day since January of this year when I received the results of my MRI scan which showed a completely torn anterior cruciate ligament, or ACL for short. 

I injured myself in July 2015 but I hadn't realised the severity of the injury -- I thought it was a common sprain and I'd be up and running, playing basketball and sports as per usual within a few days. But the longer I carried my ignorance around, the more I began to worry about how I wasn't recovering. I worried over not being able to pivot, not being able to jump, having my knee buckle while standing in a bus. I delayed seeing a doctor until end December 2015, took my MRI, and waited for the results. Throughout this period I had my hopes up that I didn't tear anything or had a serious injury and I wouldn't have to go for surgery. But then of course the news broke and I broke down (dramatic, am I right?) in the doctor's office.

So I'm going for surgery. I had this date set in around May of this year and I've been waiting. Surgery's always been a date that would be far away from me; something that I wouldn't have to worry about for a long, long time. However, this year has gone by really quickly -- too quickly, in fact, and I still can't believe that I'm getting my ACL reconstructed. My journey's about to begin, not end; the months of physiotherapy and strength building; the countless squats, leg raises, bridges, lunges; the amount of time spent with a resistance band wrapped tightly around my legs -- all of this is just preparation for the greater challenge that lies ahead.

I'm going into this determined to rehabiliate myself back to my healthy self. I want to play basketball competitively, I want to play so many sports competitively. There's so many things out there that I'd like to do and I need my ACL again. It's going to be tough not being able to run, jump and even walk and carry out my daily activites, it's going to feel as if all my hard work and adaptation to my torn-ACL lifestyle would be for naught, but I have to break down these barriers. I need to keep reminding myself that it will only get better from here. With each day that passes, hopefully, I gain even more mobility and control of my leg. Patience, determination, hardwork, sacrifice -- the pillars that will guide me to my new, stronger self.

A new chapter is about to begin.